Kids These Days

Yesterday, my children and I went to an amusement park.  It was a great time and much needed.

I have always been a watcher of people, so being at such an occupied place gave me plenty to see.  The interactions between people, their dress, their hair, their mannerisms...such fun.  I don't make fun of anyone, I just observe.

There is so much to observe between parents and kids and kids and kids.  I am always amazed at what I see.  Unfortunately, it is everywhere I have an opportunity to watch.  Disrespect and disobedience...and sometimes purely evilness.   I do not understand it.  I was never allowed to be this way, and I guarantee you, either were the parents of the monsters....so what happened?  Maybe parents got lazy because they got too busy.   Maybe the "threat" of arrest hinders them from a good spanking on the bottom.  Whatever it is, it sickens me.  I am looking at these next generations to come in horror...complete horror.

We come home and I am scanning my Facebook page to see some poor bus monitor's torment on video.  She is a 68 year old woman from Greece, New York, and a group of 4 middle schoolers are bullying her to tears.



I did not watch the video as it would only upset me.  Just knowing the few details has made my blood pressure rise! Honestly, what could she do?  What means of discipline could she have taken?  Her hands were tied, but her heart was not.   Many people have given donations to this woman, over $400,000!  They want her to go on a vacation of lifetime.  I think that is awesome.

What about those kids, though?  What about the parents of those kids??  It is all over our local news stations.  Everyone was talking about it on FB, there is no hiding at all.  Who should be punished more?  The kids, or the parents who have allowed their kids to grow up this way?  And what about all the other kids on the bus?  NO ONE, not ONE stood up for this woman!!!!  SHAME ON THEM ALL!

Here is one of the latest new reports.

 Posted: Jun 22, 2012 2:48 AM EDT Updated: Jun 22, 2012 12:08 PM EDT

 By CHRIS CAROLA and MICHAEL HILL

Associated Press A video of four seventh-grade boys mercilessly taunting a 68-year-old bus monitor in New York state that went viral has turned the victim into an international fundraising juggernaut and opened her tormentors to an onslaught of threats and abuse.
From around the world, small donations for Karen Klein poured into the crowd-funding site indiegogo.com, at one point crashing the site and pulling in a staggering $443,057 by early Friday.
At the same time, police in the Rochester suburb of Greece, N.Y., were stepping up patrols around the houses of the middle-schoolers accused of taunting her. Police didn't name the boys but their purported identities leaked out on the Web.
Greece Police Capt. Steve Chatterton was compelled to warn against vigilante justice. One boy received more than a thousand death threats and commenters online were clear - and sometimes venomous - in their desire that the boys be severely punished.
"A threat for a threat does not make the situation better," Chatterton said at a news conference Thursday afternoon.
The verbal abuse was captured in a 10-minute cellphone video recorded Monday by a student of Athena Middle School and later posted to YouTube. The video shows Klein trying her best to ignore the stream of profanity, insults and outright threats. One student taunted: "You don't have a family because they all killed themselves because they don't want to be near you."
Klein's oldest son killed himself 10 years ago.
Eventually, she appears to break down in tears.
The swell of support for Klein follows a recent surge in awareness of bullying that has brought the issue from the classroom to the stage and screen to the White House. Bullying expert Stephen Birchak, a professor of counseling at Albany's College of Saint Rose, said the enormous flow of money for Klein is no surprise given the shame we feel as a society over the incident.
The stickier question is: How could the students be so cruel?
Birchak noted that the kids are growing up in a world of harsh political debates and reality TV shows in which berating people is part of the entertainment. Meanwhile, taking videos of people in humiliating situations and sharing the images has become all too normal among many adolescents, "Kids are growing up saying, 'OK, this is how you treat your fellow human being and it's OK to do those things,'" he said.
Police said Klein does not want the boys to face criminal charges, partly because of the storm of criticism leveled at them.
Klein told NBC's "Today" show Thursday that it took "a lot of willpower" not to respond to the jeers from the four boys riding the bus operated by the Greece Central School District. Klein said she was "amazed" at the support she received.
"I've got these nice letters, emails, Facebook messages," she said. "It's like, wow, there's a whole world out there that I didn't know. It's really awesome."
Klein did not immediately return a call from The Associated Press seeking comment.
The fundraiser flew past its goal of $5,000, initially designed to send the grandmother of eight on a "vacation of a lifetime." Some 20,875 people had donated by early Friday, many in denominations of $20 or less.
"You want to jump into that bus and you want to grab those kids and say 'Knock it off!' And you want to hold her," said Amy Weber, a 43-year-old independent filmmaker from the Detroit area who pledged $100.
"I think we hear about bullying every day and we become a little desensitized to it. This puts it in our face" said Weber, who is making a feature film about a bully.
Slava Rubin, Indiegogo's chief executive officer and co-founder, called the outpouring "an incredible campaign."
"We're seeing good Samaritans come together to support this brave woman, and we hope that this campaign contributes positively to the important national discussion about bullying," Rubin said in a prepared statement.
The boys had not yet apologized to Klein as of Thursday afternoon, though police said they regretted their acts. The district will pursue disciplinary actions against all four students.
___
Carola and Hill reported from Albany, N.Y. Associated Press writer Mary Esch in Albany contributed.

Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

These kids, these rotten kids, are not exceptions, they are becoming the rule.  Our future.  Parents, wake up!

Sorry for the "shouting" today, reader.  Very passionate about this topic.  Thank you for continuing to come back.

Addie Rose

Family Time

I think as an only child, I would fantasize about what a family was.  I was raised by a single mom, basically and so never really got a good concept of what a "typical" family was.  I loved movies and watched many growing up.  I think that due to all those movies, I developed a really unrealistic idea of what "family" is. 

So now I am the single mom, but instead of just one child, I have three.  My oldest one will be starting college this fall and my youngest will be starting kindergarten!  My middle one, which is literally right in the middle, has been complaining lately about "family time".  "We don't do anything as a family anymore."  He is right.  My eldest spends her time working two jobs and on the computer.  My youngest totally enjoys just playing by himself with his toys.  My middle one is always needing my attention, and I think that is why he wants this time. 

The sad thing is that we used to do it.  But we had our own little twist.  We love to play video games, even if it is a one person game like Zelda or Spyro.  We enjoy watching and being part of that story.  We do love to play Mario Kart and those kinds as well.  So what changed?  Me.  I have the never ending "tired" issue.  There is always so much to do every day that I look forward to doing NOTHING.  I tell myself I "deserve" it, and maybe I do.  But....the truth of the matter is that soon, he won't care anymore and I will be chasing after him to spend time with me like I have to do with my eldest.  And just down the road, my youngest will be all I have left and he will probably not care either.  I just need to bite the bullet and treasure this time.  I need to make "family time"...tired or not.  I want my kids to tell their kids about the fun they had growing up.  I want them to carry on traditions I started.  That isn't going to happen, if I don't start them...or stop doing them. 

Eh...I can sleep after they all leave the nest.   :)   Thanks for stopping by, reader.


Addie Rose <3

Father's Day

I would like to imagine that most people spend this day with their dads.  Maybe a BBQ with family, some outdoor games and a lot of love.  In my head, it is like a Hallmark movie.  Does this kind of thing really happen?  I wouldn't know.  I would love to know what it is like to have a good relationship with a dad.  What does it feel like to be his princess?

No matter how old I become, this day is never a happy one.  It is one that reminds me of what I didn't/don't have and what I wish I had.  "Father of the Bride"...can I have that dad?  One who adores me forever?

To make matters worse, my daughter has the same issues.  Her dad hasn't seen her in 14 years!  My sons' dad sees them very often, but he has no clue what makes a real dad.  It isn't ice cream and toys.  My eldest son is struggling so badly this year because he is at the "look what I have and oh how I wish I had this instead".   My heart aches for him and I try hard to remind him of anything that is positive for him to cling to.  But for every "good" there are 10 "bads". His dad is not physically abusive , he is just clueless, thoughtless, lacks common sense and any "dad" traits.  This is definitely a case of when "throwing a ball back and forth" does not heal my sons broken heart.


The only thing I can do is point my children to the ultimate Father....as I have had to do myself.

If you have a dad, like in a Hallmark movie, please let him know everyday how awesome he is and YOU need to feel such gratefulness. 

Thanks for reading today!


Addie Rose

Forever Friends

I was so naive to assume that as we got older and hopefully wiser, that our friendships would mature as well.  I was wrong....or I just have picked lousy "besties" for the past 5-10 years!  I have(had) a close circle of friends, three to be exact.  Out of these three, two lived within a 15 mile radius of me, while the other thousands of miles away.  Obviously, the relationship between the two closer geographically would be different than my long distance friend, also the fact that the LDF is male changes it a bit as well. 

For the past 5 years, I have been going through a very difficult time with my mother's health.  Short version: diagnosed with emphysema...didn't stop smoking...tethered to an oxygen tank...a cold led to being put on a respirator...stupid dr made bad choices....trach put in as she couldn't get off the vent machine....sent 2 1/2 hours away to a facility to help her get "weened" off the machine.   I am an only child and my mother's local family are as useless as trying to breathe underwater.  After about two years at the facility, she gave up trying and through tears hoped that I would understand and forgive her for not being able to ever "come home".  What could I say??  These were not my shoes to walk in at all.  But all this is for another post one day.

So through these past five years, my "three" knew the circumstances, the stress, the love, the loss, the emptiness I was going through.  Many hours spent talking about the "what if this happens" kind of scenarios, and I always "knew" they would be there to hold me up through the inevitable.   

The "almost" inevitable started coming in April of this year.  A "mass" was found after repeated trips to ER for pneumonia.   She refused testing to see what "it" was, and there was really no point anyways.  Over the next few weeks, she was given "days" to live and I transferred her closer to me to basically die.   One of the closer "besties" chose to block me from FB  in February due to " I am sinking a dark hole and I don't want to drag you with me".  Stupidest thing I ever heard.  Friends are suppose to be there to help you through those times.  Lots of hurt there.  The other closer"bestie" has been pulling away for a year and she is the kind of person who won't tell you the truth of the matter.  She is afraid to hurt you...so she won't tell you anything.  That works well...NOT! 

At first, when this happened with mom in April, the "bestie" still speaking to me was there for me, calling and texting, Facebooking me and messaging me.  Then, it slowed way down.  All my FB statuses were basically about how alone I felt...no family...where were my friends???  ( You always find out who your friends are when you go through this kind of stuff.) She sends me a message saying she thought I wanted to be alone.  Oh please.  I realized she was great for FBing support...made her look good, didn't it??  But couldn't show up to my house or drive with me to my see my mom, or share a cup of coffee or a hug.  That was too much, and those were the things I needed the most.  I have a bunch of "friends" on FB that can ONLY support, encourage, love me via FB.  She could do those things in the flesh, and chose not to. 

My LDR "bestie" is still there for me, bless his soul.  And I will be eternally grateful for that.  He lost his mom just a months before all this happened.  I was there for him the most I could be living so far away.  I was also there for the other two when they were going through their own griefs.  The one who blocked me lost her 31 year old brother suddenly to a heart attack.  I called everyday as she is one who totally wants to be left alone.  I bugged her every day to just let her know I was there...and of course, wanted to make sure she was ok.   The other one went through 6 months of taking care of her mother in law and watching a brain tumor take her life.  Again, called every day, "do you need anything", let her vent and rant and cry all she needed. 

Always so hard when going through something like that.  You feel so helpless to help your friends.  But I did unto "others" the way I would like to be done unto.  I knew my day would come and I would need them.  So they day has come....and they are no where to be found.

It has taken me a long time to get past the majority of betrayal and resentment I feel towards them.  I wish I could say I was totally over it, but this post tells me...and you , reader, that I am not.   I tell my son all the time ~ "Life is not fair".  And, it isn't.  There are very few things you can really count on these days.  I was just naive enough to think that a 5 year or 10 year friendship would be one of them. 

Thanks for listening to my rantings today, reader.  Hope this finds each of you well.


Addie Rose

Hello World

This is my first post and I suppose if anyone happens onto this blog, they might want to know the "why's" of it all.  So, here is my "why".

I have a Facebook account and I love it dearly.  But over the years, you accumulate many friends and family.  These friends and family get to read every piece you put up on your wall.  For the most part, it is fine.  But there are sometimes, I want to talk about something that involves someone I am "connected" with on FB...and there poses a problem.

We all need somewhere to "rant" and I unfortunately can not do that on FB.  I realize that using this blog may not get me any responses, and that is fine with me as long as I can release!  I promise not to ALWAYS be negative, but with this world heading in the direction it is, they may be a bit tricky.  I would LOVE comments so feel free to share what you think or even your own "rant". 

Thanks for taking the time to read this first post.  More to come! :)